You are so adorable
by OnlyOneToBlame
Summary: Just a quick little one-shot of Jace humor, The Princess Bride style! "All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead."


I walk out of the kitchen with both of mine and Jace's coffee in hand. I quickly set them on the table, shout for Jace to come down, and rush to the kitchen before I can burn the toast I made. As I walk out of the kitchen again, toast in my hands, I see Jace sitting at the table staring at the cups with amusement.

"That's my coffee." I walk over and try to grab my cup, but Jace's voice interrupts me.

"All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead."

"Jace… Are you okay?" I vaguely recall what he is quoting, but this sudden burst of random behavior is quite normal, so I don't fret too much over it.

"But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of woman who would put the poison into her own goblet or her lover's?" He says with a wink. Oh no, it is finally coming to me what he is quoting. This is going to be _something_. "Now, a clever woman would put the poison into her own goblet, because she would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the coffee in front of me."

"Okay, Jace. I get it now. You're so funny. Hardy har har." I roll my eyes at his childness.

"Not remotely. Because coffee comes from Ethiopia, as everyone knows, and Ethiopia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the coffee in front of you."

I allow myself to joke around with him, because he is obviously not going to stop, and will probably be quoting _The Princess Bride_ all day long if I don't join in. "Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."

Jace smirks at me when I join in. "Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?"

"Ethiopia." Clearly he is only getting started.

"Yes, Ethiopia. And you must have suspected I would have known the beans origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me."

"You're annoying me now. Can we just eat in peace?"

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant," He winks and points down to his lap. I cannot help but blush at that. "which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own cup, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my sister's cooking, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the coffee in front of me."

"Please can we just eat?" I say with an overdramatic whine, but secretly, I'm enjoying this.

Jace suddenly springs from his chair and shouts, "IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!"

"Then make your choice." I say with a slight smile and an eye roll.

"I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?" He points behind me.

_I'm not going to fall for it_, I tell myself, but I still turn to look. On the wall where Jace pointed to, there is a giant red heart with the words, _I love you_, on it.

"You did that for me Jace?" I say with a sweet smile.

"Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something, _that is obviously not that_. No matter. First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours."

I walk over and grab my cup of coffee, smiling over the rim. As I take a sip of the coffee, I taste the sweetness of sugar and cream slipping down my throat.

I scrunch up my nose in disgust. "You guessed wrong."

Jace starts laughing uncontrollably, either at the face I made, or because he doesn't know how much longer he can keep up his inner _Vizzini_. "You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha..."

Jace makes a hilarious face, like he was pretending to be in pain, then falls down to the ground pretending to be dead.

I walk over to Jace, brush away the hair on his forehead, and quickly peck his lips. "You are _so_ adorable." I give a hasty giggle.

**Just a quick little one-shot I've had in my head for a while. I could ****_not_**** resist!**

**Loves,**

**OnlyOneToBlame**


End file.
